Valentine’s Day Monsters

A couple of days ago, I was driving down Sunset through Silverlake, and this is what I saw:

IMAG0016 1024x612 Valentines Day Monsters
Can you believe this?!?!?!

A wave of total outrage washed over me!

Everyone knows that Spitfire Girl is V-day headquarters….

I knew that there was obviously something fishy behind this false advertising. And then, the next day passing through Silverlake, I saw this:

99centgollum 612x1024 Valentines Day Monsters
February 2, 2012

I knew it had to be some type of other-wordly evil and it was…. Gollum. All he ever wanted was to be loved and now he’s taking it out on the rest of us.

Hopefully you’re smart, and know not to buy you’re new girl or guy something like a mop or 99 cent can of tomatoes. Because if you do, Gollum wins, and no one will ever be loved again.

***

The very next day, I saw this:

wolverine 612x1024 Valentines Day Monsters
February 3, 2012

Yes, that is a wolverine…one of Gollum’s henchmen.

He must have been patrolling the place for nonbelievers like me.

Remember: how much you’re loved is directly proportional to the gifts you give and receive.

ok, OK, maybe that’s harsh…

but you have a good chance of making the most out of your V-day if you shop at Spitfire rather than the dollar store.

So don’t believe the lies.

Reporting live from Echo ParkĀ -Chels